Everyone’s talking about the Knicks. The Knicks this and the Knicks that. This is their first championship in fifty-three years. They are a comeback story. They are an underdog story. No one picked them. Then they put an entire city on their back and did the impossible. They knocked out one daunting opponent after the next (including our Sixers). 

I saw some of the games. I could not help but root for Villanova alum Jalen Brunson as he led the team through each round of the playoffs. He grew up in the Philadelphia area actually. He plays with ferocity and great emotion. What’s not to like? What has moved me most is how he handles himself off of the basketball court. Here we see a version of masculinity that is soft-spoken, modest and vulnerable. He is not afraid to cry. He does not hesitate to acknowledge the skill of his teammates. He seems so totally honest and giving.

In truth we live in a time of abounding ‘toxic masculinity’ – the notion that louder is better, that aggressive is impressive, the idea that muscles and brawn somehow connote better. We see this in pick-up truck commercials, ads for beer and – increasingly – in our everyday lives. It is a problematic example we are setting for our boys especially. The lesson they are learning is that toughness is better than tenderness and ignorance is somehow the intelligent route.

We might be tempted to say that this broken mode of masculine behavior is new, but in truth it’s as old as the Torah itself. Take this week’s portion, for instance. In the portion of Korach, we witness a brash and brutal uprising against Moses. Korach himself, along with two hundred and fifty followers, approaches Moses and challenges his leadership. Korach says: ‘You have gone too far, for all the community are holy’ (Numbers 16:3). Korach and his band of agitators, they do not come from a place of civility or dialogue, but rather from anger and impatience. Moses, to his credit, responds with reason and measure. He notes that the Eternal One alone declares ‘who is holy;’ it is God who chooses the leaders of the people (16:5).

Korach and his gang feel brash and abrasive. They will be swallowed up by the earth later in the portion, not because they challenged Moses, but because of how they challenged Moses. Their arrogance is juxtaposed with Moses’ kind-heartedness and gentleness. The fire pans that Korach used to make offerings will be repurposed; they will now become part of ‘sheets as plating for the altar’ (17:3). Indeed, their actions and their complex legacy, will be carried forward by the Israelites as a perpetual reminder of the choices they made. Thus in the very makeup of the ark are both Korach’s misguided actions and the mensch-like ways that Moses responded.

Especially amid this Pride Month, we might think carefully about dated gender stereotypes and what it means to adopt an updated understanding that is far-reaching, healthy and inclusive. Boys can and should be soft and caring. Boys can and should be sensitive and well-read. Like Moses, we might all aim for humility, understanding and patience. Like Jalen Brunson, newly crowned finals MVP, we might choose vulnerability, empathy and love.